The Numbers Game

Oh, the frustrations of being a female and buying clothes! I bought a skirt and shirt from Banana Republic yesterday on sale. Very cute, and both medium. And yet...I felt "fat" in this fashionable ensemble. My husband assures me I look great and I'm beautiful. I know 30lbs ago I would've bought an extra large shirt and a large skirt. Most of the time now I'm in small skirts and wear size 6-8. I'm happy with that. And yet... My bmi is on the edge at 25. I want to lose 20lbs. If I can consistently do what I know to do, I can get there. I know I want to be my healthiest - to help with every system, with my diabetes. Maybe even my asthma. And yet... My worsening diabetes is a serous energy sapper. I am literally wiped out exhausted most of the time. My blood sugars with my new insulin regimen and low carb diet are getting into normal range, but man, am I tired. I hate testing four times a day but I have to. The insulin has kicked it up a notch. I'm tired of being led around by my blood sugars. All these numbers. How many carbs in a meal. How many steps a day. How many miles run. How many ounces of water consumed Bottom line, I'm trying to be the healthiest me, and I need these tools to motivate me, keep me accountable. My Fitbit is invaluable, and my support groups even more so. In my youth, I could care less. I was young and slim and disease free. I can't go back in time. But I can do something today. And tomorrow. And the next day...ad infinitude. I hope I can inspire you to make healthy choices. Choose health. Start now! It only gets harder as you get older. e b e r

Begin. Again.

Ah, the quest for a healthy life. It started in earnest almost 6 years ago with my diabetes diagnosis. I had toyed off and on with eating healthy throughout my life. As a child, my mother was very healthy...we didn't have junk food, koolaid, artificial colors and flavors. We ate fruits and veggies. In the seventies, this was a feat. In my high school years, I would sneak M&M's. I was a pack a day girl. We frequently went to McDonalds when we were skipping schoo, for a coke, egg McMuffin, hash brown, and a cheese danish. I drank regular soda by the gallon. By this time, the healthy eating I grew up on went out the window. At 120 slender pounds, I ate whatever I wanted without the scale budging. So I did. My sugar addiction became firmly anchored during these years. I went through two decades of eating as I pleased, drinking gallons of soda and sweet tea. Fast forward to seven years ago August, and my diabetes diagnosis. My days of sweetened drinks, regular soda, and juice ended that day. That was, for some reason, the easy part. The sugary sweets part is much more difficult, for as I grew up, I became an emotional eater, and carbs - mostly pastries - were my drug of choice. My dietary changes are a work in progress. After my diabetes diagnosis, I lost 30lbs, and went low carb, bringing my A1C to a pre-diabetic 5.7. This honeymoon phase lasted about three years. Then slowly, but steadily, the diabetes started pushing its way to the front. Fast forward to my last year...on insulin now, with an A1C of 8.7. No bueno. I feel like I am back to square one. Deep sigh. The health journey has good days, and not so good days. The important thing is to keep focused on being as healthy as possible. Today starts the Runner's World Run Streak - a commitment to run at least a mile a day, every day from now until Labor Day. I'm in - I am also reading "Diabetes Solution" by Dr Richard Bernstein, and "The Obesity Code" by Dr Jason Fung. I want to understand as much as I can, so I can do what is best for my health. I've been in a rut, overwhelmed by the rapidly worsening blood sugars. I know that I can only do what I can do - but I'm going to do the best I can. Today. Then tomorrow, I will get up, and do it again. Until. e b e r

Acceptance - or Denial?

Today, healthy minded friends, I am going to discuss a controversial but important issue. Body image. This is a raging issue in the press...mostly because for most of my lifetime, the acceptable body image has been defined by media. TV, magazines, fashion - all telling us how we are supposed to look. Unless you've been genetically blessed and starve yourself, that's a goal you'll never hit. Nor should you want to hit it. Everyone has a different body type. I, for example, have a small bone structure despite my height. So when I was at my top weight I didn't look that unhealthy - but I was. The years of emotional and irresponsible eating had left its mark in a size 14 overweight female. You have to know what is healthy for you. If you are not a tall individual, you may be blessed with a fast metabolism. You may be petite. Or, you may have to work harder at exercise and mindful eating because each bite counts. I have friends who have a bigger bone structure, more athletic. They are healthy - their weight is higher than mine, but our structures are totally different. First things first - the goal of this blog is health. Getting doctor approved exercise in everyday. Eating healthy, mindfully - nourishing your body. It is a daily journey. Every meal and every snack is a decision. The next part is the controversial part - body acceptance. When I was at my top weight, no one called me fat. I was overweight and I knew it. I dressed in clothes that fit, as much as I hated buying clothes in the sizes I had to buy. The social construct of aiming for small dunned me. I didn't try and dress the size I wished to be - I accepted that I was a size 14, and I dressed appropriately for they size. Now that I am 40lbs lighter, I dress in the size I am at - small to medium. Even now, I have to maintain an exercise regimen and diet that helps me care for my diabetic self. I accept this. When I was at my top weight, I wasn't in denial...which would have manifested in "body acceptance". Too many people accept the shape they are in, when they are overweight, obese...or morbidly obese. By NO MEANS am I advocating self hate, but do NOT accept that being unhealthy is okay. It's not. You may say you're happy, but your heart isn't. Your cardiovascular system isn't. Your joints aren't. Your mind isn't, if you're eating emotionally. Don't accept being unhealthy. And unhealthyOften manifests physically in obesity, et al. Don't accept where you are if it's not where you should be. This applies to just about everything. Can I get an amen? Then there's the issue of modesty...but don't get me started. Tomorrow I run a 10k and I know I'm going to have to avert my eyes as I pass the running pants bought sizes too small, because that's what the runner thinks their size is...alas, no, and when stretched to their limits, those Lycra leggings get transparent. Ain't nobody wanna see that. But good for them for getting out there! Bottom line...health is a journey...every day for the rest of your life. Take the best care of yourself - that's the thing you need to accept. And don't accept unhealthy. It'll kill you. e b e r

I Went to Paris and All I Did Was Lose 3 Pounds

Ah, Paris - city of lights! Of love! Of...fabulous croissants! I just spent a little over a week in Europe, and I learned a lot. It also confirmed what I know. An extra added bonus was I came home 3 pounds closer to my healthiest weight! I was concerned that I wouldn't find anything I could eat with my diabetes. Au contraire! As usual, it came down to common sense. My favorite time of day was morning...a simple breakfast was a cup of "coffee milk", 2 ounces of fresh squeezed orange juice, and a croissant. The coffee...oh my! They drink espresso, and there is just a splash of steamed milk. So lesson number one was reiterated: portion control! Small cup of coffee with milk, small amount of orange juice, and the croissant was a third of the size that is typically presented to us here in the states. Each meal was like that - small portion sizes. The coffee was exquisite - not once did I add any sweetener to it. Each cup was freshly ground and made for me, and the freshness did not need any additives. The next reminder: fresh is best. Eat food that looks like food! Every egg I consumed was a brown egg, with yolks that were orange. These were farm fresh eggs, and they were amazing. Daily we saw the market on the block open for the purchase of fresh produce, meat, and cheese. As we passed the bistros we ate in, we watched fresh goods loaded into the restaurant every day. My cassolette for dinner had a chicken leg that looked like it was walking around that morning: it wasn't huge and uniform and pale. It was also not the star of the dish - the white beans, fresh carrots, and simmered veggies and spices were. The delightful little macaron that finished my day was made that morning in the bakery - no pre-packaged conglomeration of artificial everything. I was very pleased to see that France is an active city - people were out exercising. Everywhere I went, I saw runners. Plus, people walk everywhere. Parents were walking their kids to school in the morning, and the kids walked home for lunch. It was as it used to be when I was a child. There were no lines of cars picking up kids at school. Kids were on scooters, on skateboards, on foot. Moving! They say there "are no fat people" in France. I have to agree - I saw healthy looking people, moving, exercising, eating fresh, local food, in reasonable portions. My blood sugars were great all week- I focused on the beauty around me, and tasted what Paris had to offer! Now if the Europeans would just stop smoking!!!! e b e r

Six Miles

Welcome to a new year. A new day! A lot of people make resolutions. I have done so in the past, but more than anything it's just a reminder to keep pressing on. A healthy lifestyle doesn't start on a day...it starts every day. Last week I woke up practically immobilized from my back issue. Once that cleared, my compensating right knee was struggling. As the previous post attested to, I stayed on track with my healthy eating and breathing, etc. Today I decided to head out on a run, getting back on track with my exercise. Well, I ended up doing 6.2 miles. And I feel great! It ended up to be a great workout, despite the heat and humidity and puddle dodging. More than that, it really encouraged me. I remember starting this journey six years ago - when I set out to walk a 5k a day. Just a 3.12 mile walk daily. Now, I've done 17 half marathons, and lots of 10 and 5k's. It's still hard to believe it's me. Today reminds me how far I have come. I had to take that first step out of the door, though. And everyday, I have to remind myself that I am going to be as healthy as I want to be. Make a goal. It's your life, your goal. And start. You can do it! e b e r

Health Minded

Being healthy is a mindset, and a lifestyle. It is the only way to success and caring for the body you inhabit! You have to be mindful every day. This week my temperamental back decided to act up. I'm supposed to be training for my string of races this spring. I'm unable to do anything more than walk as of this writing. Earlier in the week, I could barely do that. My health is much more than my physical activity, though. Despite a plethora of Christmas goodies all over my house, I continued to eat healthy - small, frequent, whole food snacks. I drink lots and lots of water. I'm doing my breathing exercises. Now that I can move, I take short walks. I'm not focusing on what I can't do to live my life to the fullest, but rather what I can. I'm journaling what I eat. Accountability keeps me on track, especially as a diabetic. Sleep is also important. I'm trying to find the balance of when to stop drinking water so I'm not getting up in the night. Uninterrupted sleep is vital. This week I have lost 5 pounds. I'm not dieting, I'm caring for myself. I'm making healthy choices in every area. Mental health is also extremely important. I've learned that peace is priceless. Stress negatively effects every part of your life. Therefore, I let go of what I can't control, and modify what I can. Meditation is a daily part of my life. Don't feel like a failure if you are having difficulties in one area of your health. Focus on what you can do in all the other areas, and continue the daily journey of being the healthiest you can be! e b e r

Mind Over...Everything

This weekend I ran half marathon number 17 in Atlanta, Georgia. I had no idea the starting temperature would include a wind chill of 23 degrees. I had no idea Atlanta is one. Big. Hill. I had no idea that many of the miles would be run on tilted roads, straining my ankles. I was mentally prepared for the cold. I knew I could have trained more, but I went forth with the two goals I always have - have fun, and finish upright. It was a rough race. Then I let go and just...ran. I looked at the beautiful cityscapes that are foreign to me. I took in the beautiful houses at the top of the race course. I crunched through the leaves, glancing up at the beauty of scarlet fall leaves shimmering in the cold wind. I smiled as I ran past the dog park, laughing at the joyous romping of the city dogs on their patch of nature. I turned my mind away from the pain, the cold, the repetition of putting one foot in front of the other, and turned it toward soaking in my surroundings. Before I knew it, I was done. Mind over matter...over cold that lasted just that one day. Over pain in my ankles, straining on the road. Over thoughts of quitting, or not finishing. It starts before the race. It never ends. Every moment I have choices that directly effect my health. What I eat...or don't eat. Whether I get up and out and exercise. How much water I drink, versus less healthy choices. My attitude, and how it effects my stress level...which effects my health. Mind over everything that matters. That's what it comes down to. e b e r