How Diabetes Changed -And Continues to Change- My Life

Seven years ago August, I went into my doctors office with no major health issues. I walked out with a diagnosis of type 2 diabetes. My risk factors were these: heredity, with diabetes on both sides of the family, being overweight with a BMI of 26 (healthy BMI <24.9), and a sedentary lifestyle. The first immediate change was to MOVE. I began walking 5k a day. I started the Jeff Galloway Walk/Run program, and worked my way up to a steady pace. Since diagnosis, I’ve run 20 half marathons, 2 15k’s, the Glass Slipper Challenge (10k one day, and a half marathon the next), and countless 10k and 5k’s in 3 states. Was it easy? Nope. As a nurse, though, I’ve seen the long term effects of diabetes, and I didn’t want to accept them. This remains my driving force. The second part of my transformation was -and is - much harder. Changing my diet. I spent most of my life eating terribly. As a child I was fed healthy meals, and for this I am grateful - outside of liver and frozen Brussels sprouts. I have no food aversions. I do have a wicked sweet tooth, and a penchant for emotional eating. I drank soda by the gallons, and pastry was my friend when times got rough. All this had to change. I learned about carb ratios, and protein, and keeping fat in moderation. I learned to drink water as my primary beverage. I went from eating a couple hundred carbs a day to consuming less than a hundred. This is a big change. I don’t really miss bread. It was the first to go. Pizza I miss passionately, but I am determined to find a flour alternative that will make a suitable substitution. Sweets are still my nemesis, although now I use them for an entirely different reason. I keep small candies around to treat hypoglycemic episodes. Seven years after my type 2 diagnosis, I walked out of my doctors office with a new, more ominous and irreversible diagnosis of type 1 diabetes. Actually, I have LADA - latent autoimmune diabetes of adults. This was conclusively determined though labwork. My type 2 was never type 2 - I just had some pancreatic function 7 years ago, and may have extended it a bit through my healthier habits. Type 1 diabetes is a whole new beast. As I type this I am wearing an insulin pump with a carb ratio that has gone from 1:10 to 1:7 in just 4 months. I now need insulin to survive. I wear a CGM - continuous glucose monitor, to keep my sugars as tightly controlled as possible. I hate this disease. I have chosen to endeavor to follow “The Diabetes Solution” by Dr Bernstein. I’m slowly eliminating the remaining empty carbs from my life. He advocates 30 carbs a day. Hard core? Sure. He’s had diabetes since he was a child, and he’s in his 80’s now. With no long term ill effects of diabetes. It’s not an easy path...but neither is kidney failure, blindness, amputations, or heart disease. I learned a lot when I thought I was type 2 - in my studies, the effects of that disease and the comorbidities were not what I wanted to deal with. When you have a disease that is reversible, why on earth wouldn’t you try and reverse it? Now I am told I can eat what I want and just dose myself with insulin, but this is a game I am unwilling to play. More insulin use leads to increased weight. It also can lead to hyper or hypoglycemia if I gamble wrong on the insulin dose. So the most sensible thing is to eat healthy, and in moderation. I have a back injury that I’m a month into that has prevented me from exercising, but I’m eating even more mindfully. I refuse to let this disease have the upper hand if I have anything to do with it. What have I leaned over the last seven years? That misdiagnosis gave me time to learn to take better care of myself. To be a good steward of the body God gave me. To face head on the deadly sin that no one wants to address - gluttony. If it wasn’t a big issue, it wouldn’t be mentioned so much in the Bible. As a Christian, I had to repent of my sloth and gluttony. As a nurse, I’m determined to educate educate educate. Obesity is the last frontier - no one wants to offend anyone, and obesity and its comorbidities, according to the NIH, are the SECOND leading cause of preventable death in the US. Only tobacco use is before it. Obesity is an epidemic that is currently responsible for 300,000 PREVENTABLE deaths a year. It’s a national disgrace. Type 1 diabetes is not preventable, but type 2 is both preventable and reversible. It takes determination. My Christmas wish is a cure for type 1 diabetes. It’s a disease that consumes every aspect of my life. It factors in to so many daily decisions I make. My Christmas wish for everyone else is that they would be the best steward of their body as they can be, mentally, spiritually, and physically. Health is a gift. Once gone, it then becomes a choice. Choose it. e b e r

Post Thanksgiving Reflections

Yesterday was my first Thanksgiving as a type 1. I ate at 2pm with a blood sugar of 64. I had small bites of everything I loved and more of the non-carb items. For dessert right after dinner I had slivers of the desserts. It wasn’t a crazy amount of food. Two hours later, my blood sugar was 130. Yay! Then last night, around 7, I shot up to 356. It was a long night of drinking eater and watching my Dexcom numbers. I woke up with a blood sugar of 121. I’m not enjoying this disease. It’s a roller coaster and I wanna get off. The main player is exhaustion - constant, unrelenting exhaustion. I have not been running. I have been walking at least but I need to get back on track with my running! Oh but this exhaustion! How do I press through? That’s what I’m trying to figure out. I start with small attainable goals. All I can do is all I can do. e b e r

I'm Number One! Erg actually Type 1

Last Wednesday I got the not surprising, yet still devastating, news. I'm a type 1 diabetic. From what I've been reading I was never really type 2 as diagnosed 10 years ago. Type 1 in adults takes longer to fully develop. So I was in my "honeymoon phase". That's a crappy honeymoon. For the first four years, I lost 30 lbs, changed my diet, started running. Brought my A1c down. Optimism reigned!! Two years ago, my blood sugars started creeping up. My doc started me on low dose insulin. I asked for an endocrinologist referral. I was referred immediately, but not seen until last November. No bueno. She increased my insulin. Added a long acting insulin, too. I asked her to test me for type one. She waited until my next appointment to do it. So now I know. My sugars are for crap. I worry about DKA. I am afraid to eat - my blood sugars go through the roof. I've been approved for a dexcom and an Ommipod. I. Can't. Wait! I want to take this tiger by the tail. As much as I can. I'm feeling very much like my written diagnosis. Uncontrolled diabetes. I'm trying to stay healthy, and stay positive. I'm learning-a lot. I bought the book "Think Like A Pancreas". One day at a time. All I know is this sucks! e b e r

Do What You Can, While You Can

I'm nearly immobilized today. It's tremendously frustrating. 13 months ago, I had radio frequency ablation on my lower back. I have a hodgepodge of issues - bulging discs, severe arthritis, annular tears in 2 discs, degenerative disc disease. It is a chronic issue that has gotten worse over the past few years. With my diabetes there are things I can do. Diet, exercise, medications as prescribed. But this back! Ugh! It will be stiff and sore nearly every day, and then once in a while, I'm renderered helpless. I can't get out of bed without Herculean effort. Bending over is a tear inducing struggle. It comes seemingly out of nowhere. Heating pad. Muscle relaxer. And today, the dreaded T-3, my last resort. My neurosurgeon told me when I was first diagnosed with my back problems that extra weight is causing back issues usually seen in an 80 year old to be seen in 20 year olds. That coupled with sedentary lifestyle leads to degenerative back problems. I got that advice the same time I was diagnosed with diabetes. So I lost the 30lbs I needed to lose, and began to exercise. I wish I would have started exercising when I was younger. That's neither here nor there now. For me. For you, my readers, know that the choices you make today with your health affect your health today...and tomorrow. Small changes made today lead to bigger changes tomorrow. Today I'm in sorry shape. I can still eat healthy - and I am. And my blood sugars are stable. When I get better, Lord willing, I am going to start adding yoga to my repertoire. I'm hoping that will help my back. I am already using chiropractic and acupuncture to help with my back. I do not want surgery!! I also don't want to go the "pain control" route, which is a road of medications and invasive injections. I want to live a long and healthy life. A life that is active. Today reminds me how fleeting it can be. Every choice matters. I'm living with some poor choices made long before this episode flared up. Time for a epsom salt soak. e b e r

The Numbers Game

Oh, the frustrations of being a female and buying clothes! I bought a skirt and shirt from Banana Republic yesterday on sale. Very cute, and both medium. And yet...I felt "fat" in this fashionable ensemble. My husband assures me I look great and I'm beautiful. I know 30lbs ago I would've bought an extra large shirt and a large skirt. Most of the time now I'm in small skirts and wear size 6-8. I'm happy with that. And yet... My bmi is on the edge at 25. I want to lose 20lbs. If I can consistently do what I know to do, I can get there. I know I want to be my healthiest - to help with every system, with my diabetes. Maybe even my asthma. And yet... My worsening diabetes is a serous energy sapper. I am literally wiped out exhausted most of the time. My blood sugars with my new insulin regimen and low carb diet are getting into normal range, but man, am I tired. I hate testing four times a day but I have to. The insulin has kicked it up a notch. I'm tired of being led around by my blood sugars. All these numbers. How many carbs in a meal. How many steps a day. How many miles run. How many ounces of water consumed Bottom line, I'm trying to be the healthiest me, and I need these tools to motivate me, keep me accountable. My Fitbit is invaluable, and my support groups even more so. In my youth, I could care less. I was young and slim and disease free. I can't go back in time. But I can do something today. And tomorrow. And the next day...ad infinitude. I hope I can inspire you to make healthy choices. Choose health. Start now! It only gets harder as you get older. e b e r

Begin. Again.

Ah, the quest for a healthy life. It started in earnest almost 6 years ago with my diabetes diagnosis. I had toyed off and on with eating healthy throughout my life. As a child, my mother was very healthy...we didn't have junk food, koolaid, artificial colors and flavors. We ate fruits and veggies. In the seventies, this was a feat. In my high school years, I would sneak M&M's. I was a pack a day girl. We frequently went to McDonalds when we were skipping schoo, for a coke, egg McMuffin, hash brown, and a cheese danish. I drank regular soda by the gallon. By this time, the healthy eating I grew up on went out the window. At 120 slender pounds, I ate whatever I wanted without the scale budging. So I did. My sugar addiction became firmly anchored during these years. I went through two decades of eating as I pleased, drinking gallons of soda and sweet tea. Fast forward to seven years ago August, and my diabetes diagnosis. My days of sweetened drinks, regular soda, and juice ended that day. That was, for some reason, the easy part. The sugary sweets part is much more difficult, for as I grew up, I became an emotional eater, and carbs - mostly pastries - were my drug of choice. My dietary changes are a work in progress. After my diabetes diagnosis, I lost 30lbs, and went low carb, bringing my A1C to a pre-diabetic 5.7. This honeymoon phase lasted about three years. Then slowly, but steadily, the diabetes started pushing its way to the front. Fast forward to my last year...on insulin now, with an A1C of 8.7. No bueno. I feel like I am back to square one. Deep sigh. The health journey has good days, and not so good days. The important thing is to keep focused on being as healthy as possible. Today starts the Runner's World Run Streak - a commitment to run at least a mile a day, every day from now until Labor Day. I'm in - I am also reading "Diabetes Solution" by Dr Richard Bernstein, and "The Obesity Code" by Dr Jason Fung. I want to understand as much as I can, so I can do what is best for my health. I've been in a rut, overwhelmed by the rapidly worsening blood sugars. I know that I can only do what I can do - but I'm going to do the best I can. Today. Then tomorrow, I will get up, and do it again. Until. e b e r

Acceptance - or Denial?

Today, healthy minded friends, I am going to discuss a controversial but important issue. Body image. This is a raging issue in the press...mostly because for most of my lifetime, the acceptable body image has been defined by media. TV, magazines, fashion - all telling us how we are supposed to look. Unless you've been genetically blessed and starve yourself, that's a goal you'll never hit. Nor should you want to hit it. Everyone has a different body type. I, for example, have a small bone structure despite my height. So when I was at my top weight I didn't look that unhealthy - but I was. The years of emotional and irresponsible eating had left its mark in a size 14 overweight female. You have to know what is healthy for you. If you are not a tall individual, you may be blessed with a fast metabolism. You may be petite. Or, you may have to work harder at exercise and mindful eating because each bite counts. I have friends who have a bigger bone structure, more athletic. They are healthy - their weight is higher than mine, but our structures are totally different. First things first - the goal of this blog is health. Getting doctor approved exercise in everyday. Eating healthy, mindfully - nourishing your body. It is a daily journey. Every meal and every snack is a decision. The next part is the controversial part - body acceptance. When I was at my top weight, no one called me fat. I was overweight and I knew it. I dressed in clothes that fit, as much as I hated buying clothes in the sizes I had to buy. The social construct of aiming for small dunned me. I didn't try and dress the size I wished to be - I accepted that I was a size 14, and I dressed appropriately for they size. Now that I am 40lbs lighter, I dress in the size I am at - small to medium. Even now, I have to maintain an exercise regimen and diet that helps me care for my diabetic self. I accept this. When I was at my top weight, I wasn't in denial...which would have manifested in "body acceptance". Too many people accept the shape they are in, when they are overweight, obese...or morbidly obese. By NO MEANS am I advocating self hate, but do NOT accept that being unhealthy is okay. It's not. You may say you're happy, but your heart isn't. Your cardiovascular system isn't. Your joints aren't. Your mind isn't, if you're eating emotionally. Don't accept being unhealthy. And unhealthyOften manifests physically in obesity, et al. Don't accept where you are if it's not where you should be. This applies to just about everything. Can I get an amen? Then there's the issue of modesty...but don't get me started. Tomorrow I run a 10k and I know I'm going to have to avert my eyes as I pass the running pants bought sizes too small, because that's what the runner thinks their size is...alas, no, and when stretched to their limits, those Lycra leggings get transparent. Ain't nobody wanna see that. But good for them for getting out there! Bottom line...health is a journey...every day for the rest of your life. Take the best care of yourself - that's the thing you need to accept. And don't accept unhealthy. It'll kill you. e b e r

I Went to Paris and All I Did Was Lose 3 Pounds

Ah, Paris - city of lights! Of love! Of...fabulous croissants! I just spent a little over a week in Europe, and I learned a lot. It also confirmed what I know. An extra added bonus was I came home 3 pounds closer to my healthiest weight! I was concerned that I wouldn't find anything I could eat with my diabetes. Au contraire! As usual, it came down to common sense. My favorite time of day was morning...a simple breakfast was a cup of "coffee milk", 2 ounces of fresh squeezed orange juice, and a croissant. The coffee...oh my! They drink espresso, and there is just a splash of steamed milk. So lesson number one was reiterated: portion control! Small cup of coffee with milk, small amount of orange juice, and the croissant was a third of the size that is typically presented to us here in the states. Each meal was like that - small portion sizes. The coffee was exquisite - not once did I add any sweetener to it. Each cup was freshly ground and made for me, and the freshness did not need any additives. The next reminder: fresh is best. Eat food that looks like food! Every egg I consumed was a brown egg, with yolks that were orange. These were farm fresh eggs, and they were amazing. Daily we saw the market on the block open for the purchase of fresh produce, meat, and cheese. As we passed the bistros we ate in, we watched fresh goods loaded into the restaurant every day. My cassolette for dinner had a chicken leg that looked like it was walking around that morning: it wasn't huge and uniform and pale. It was also not the star of the dish - the white beans, fresh carrots, and simmered veggies and spices were. The delightful little macaron that finished my day was made that morning in the bakery - no pre-packaged conglomeration of artificial everything. I was very pleased to see that France is an active city - people were out exercising. Everywhere I went, I saw runners. Plus, people walk everywhere. Parents were walking their kids to school in the morning, and the kids walked home for lunch. It was as it used to be when I was a child. There were no lines of cars picking up kids at school. Kids were on scooters, on skateboards, on foot. Moving! They say there "are no fat people" in France. I have to agree - I saw healthy looking people, moving, exercising, eating fresh, local food, in reasonable portions. My blood sugars were great all week- I focused on the beauty around me, and tasted what Paris had to offer! Now if the Europeans would just stop smoking!!!! e b e r

Six Miles

Welcome to a new year. A new day! A lot of people make resolutions. I have done so in the past, but more than anything it's just a reminder to keep pressing on. A healthy lifestyle doesn't start on a day...it starts every day. Last week I woke up practically immobilized from my back issue. Once that cleared, my compensating right knee was struggling. As the previous post attested to, I stayed on track with my healthy eating and breathing, etc. Today I decided to head out on a run, getting back on track with my exercise. Well, I ended up doing 6.2 miles. And I feel great! It ended up to be a great workout, despite the heat and humidity and puddle dodging. More than that, it really encouraged me. I remember starting this journey six years ago - when I set out to walk a 5k a day. Just a 3.12 mile walk daily. Now, I've done 17 half marathons, and lots of 10 and 5k's. It's still hard to believe it's me. Today reminds me how far I have come. I had to take that first step out of the door, though. And everyday, I have to remind myself that I am going to be as healthy as I want to be. Make a goal. It's your life, your goal. And start. You can do it! e b e r