I am still walking or walk/running 30-40 miles a week, so the new "lax" me is in a much better place physically
than the girl who ran that first half four years ago.
Tomorrow is important.
November is a heavy month for me emotionally. I've had three very close loved ones die in November. Some major life changing events happened to me in November. I've come to dread it.
I have depression, and although I am medicated and counseled, there are times I need to do more. I knew I needed to turn November around.
The simple, yet sometimes profound, daily affirmations of thankfulness are the first thing I did at the beginning of this month. It helps.
I am also trying to be more mindful. For example, tonight as I observed a very miserable woman out to dinner with her spouse, I purposed to be more aware of my attitude. And how I am reflecting myself, and affecting others.
Those are good things, but tomorrow's date is a significant day in my history. A day that, in the past, has made me morose, depressed, overly consumed. Etc.
So tomorrow I am going to run. For my life.
The last time I did this was after my miscarriage. I was in such a fragile state emotionally, and I needed to do something life affirming. I needed to push through the pain. So I ran, and so did the tears.
So it will be tomorrow.
I have a new playlist of music to keep me moving and positive. I go into this knowing full well I'm not going to have a peak performance- but that's okay.
Tomorrow I am running for my life.
I will be the better for it.
e b e r
