Acceptance - or Denial?

Today, healthy minded friends, I am going to discuss a controversial but important issue. Body image. This is a raging issue in the press...mostly because for most of my lifetime, the acceptable body image has been defined by media. TV, magazines, fashion - all telling us how we are supposed to look. Unless you've been genetically blessed and starve yourself, that's a goal you'll never hit. Nor should you want to hit it. Everyone has a different body type. I, for example, have a small bone structure despite my height. So when I was at my top weight I didn't look that unhealthy - but I was. The years of emotional and irresponsible eating had left its mark in a size 14 overweight female. You have to know what is healthy for you. If you are not a tall individual, you may be blessed with a fast metabolism. You may be petite. Or, you may have to work harder at exercise and mindful eating because each bite counts. I have friends who have a bigger bone structure, more athletic. They are healthy - their weight is higher than mine, but our structures are totally different. First things first - the goal of this blog is health. Getting doctor approved exercise in everyday. Eating healthy, mindfully - nourishing your body. It is a daily journey. Every meal and every snack is a decision. The next part is the controversial part - body acceptance. When I was at my top weight, no one called me fat. I was overweight and I knew it. I dressed in clothes that fit, as much as I hated buying clothes in the sizes I had to buy. The social construct of aiming for small dunned me. I didn't try and dress the size I wished to be - I accepted that I was a size 14, and I dressed appropriately for they size. Now that I am 40lbs lighter, I dress in the size I am at - small to medium. Even now, I have to maintain an exercise regimen and diet that helps me care for my diabetic self. I accept this. When I was at my top weight, I wasn't in denial...which would have manifested in "body acceptance". Too many people accept the shape they are in, when they are overweight, obese...or morbidly obese. By NO MEANS am I advocating self hate, but do NOT accept that being unhealthy is okay. It's not. You may say you're happy, but your heart isn't. Your cardiovascular system isn't. Your joints aren't. Your mind isn't, if you're eating emotionally. Don't accept being unhealthy. And unhealthyOften manifests physically in obesity, et al. Don't accept where you are if it's not where you should be. This applies to just about everything. Can I get an amen? Then there's the issue of modesty...but don't get me started. Tomorrow I run a 10k and I know I'm going to have to avert my eyes as I pass the running pants bought sizes too small, because that's what the runner thinks their size is...alas, no, and when stretched to their limits, those Lycra leggings get transparent. Ain't nobody wanna see that. But good for them for getting out there! Bottom line...health is a journey...every day for the rest of your life. Take the best care of yourself - that's the thing you need to accept. And don't accept unhealthy. It'll kill you. e b e r

Denial Ain't Just a River In Egypt. Denial maims and kills.

A frustrating aspect of being a nurse is giving people advice on how to be healthy, and then they ignore it. Or, addressing with them the issues that are impacting their health negatively, and being ignored. I get it. Denial is a lot easier than taking action. I'm the poster child for this. I spent each decade of life eating crap. Drinking soda, eating lots of carbs. I knew better...but I've never been obese, just had a little muffin top. No biggie, right? Wrong. All those empty carbs and gallons of high fructose corn syrup were taking a toll on my body. Unfortunately, I have a genetic predisposition to diabetes on both sides of my family. I'll never know if my habits hastened my type 2 diabetes diagnosis, but six years ago, the hammer fell. My life was changed forever. I could stay in denial - but I have seen the long term effects of diabetes. I'm fond of my kidneys. I like my toes. I'd like a long, healthy life. I can still have one - I just have to live mindfully. Everything is a choice. What a eat, what I drink, whether or not I park close or further out...whether I take the elevator or stairs. If I meet my daily mileage goals. All these choices have long term implications for me. And for you, too. We all are the masters of this body we live in. What kind of life do you want? Do you want a life that is leading you to high blood pressure, heart disease, immobility, early death? I tell my kids what they eat NOW affects their future. Some take that more seriously than others. I write this blog so it won't take a major negative medical diagnosis to get people to start loving themselves by taking care of themselves. How do you start? Go to a reputable doctor and get a physical. Start there. And if you haven't already..start soon. The journey starts now. Join me. e b e r

Health Awareness is not Fat Shaming

I'm fired up. Yesterday got me started. The new average female size is 16. 16! That is extra large, and that is not healthy. Unless you are halfway over 6 feet tall, that is overweight, obese...or worse. Then I went to Cracker Barrel for lunch. A girl a table over from me was STARING at me - I didn't know why. I glanced at her when she came in - she was morbidly obese, wearing leggings and a tight shirt. As I sat there eating my vegetable plate, she ordered chicken and dumplings and macaroni and cheese. I can hear the haters already, making excuses, and telling me her actions have no effect on me. Well, I am first a nurse and compassionate person, and I know she is killing herself with every bite. Suicide by ingestion is still suicide. And it's tragic. Then I read the story today of the man suing an airline because he spent 9 hours pancaked into a window seat by his very overweight seat mate. He is suing. I think that is extreme...but I also thought, why should anyone suffer because someone has chosen to be overweight? The airlines should have size limits for their seats, just as they measure for carry ons. If you don't fit, you purchase the seat next to you so you can. If you can't afford it, you don't fly. I've gone to amusement parks - there is a "you must be this tall to ride". I've seen people struggle to get in and out of seats meant for someone half their size. It causes wear and tear on the equipment, raising prices for everyone else. Diabetes is our next epidemic - and we have brought it upon ourselves. Back problems, hypertension, heart disease...bringing pain and death. Avoidable in many cases. Preventable. But not easy!! When I was diagnosed with diabetes six years ago - with a BMI of 26, overweight, I woke up. My diabetes happened because of genetics. I have been tweaking my life daily since. It. Is. Not. Easy! The alternative is unacceptable. Kidney failure. Nerve pain. Increased heart disease. Vascular impairment. Loss of limb. I would love to eat carbs like I used to - but uncontrolled carb eating kills. So here I am, from lower calorie diet and exercise, to Atkins, to vegetarian. As my body gave me clues, I fought back. It is a fight. You have to fight for your health. I fear far too many are in denial of the damage they are doing to themselves, and the effect their choices is having on others. Insurance rates go up as people get sicker. And we all pay. Who would choose to be sick? The problem with obesity is that it's eat now, pay later. Literally and figuratively. I didn't like running when I started five years ago, and it's a real struggle some days. But the alternative... My diabetes has shown me the direct cause and effect of everything I eat, and the exercise I do or don't do. I beg you - take care of yourself. Make small healthy choices daily, and they will lead to small improvments, that lead to bigger improvements. You CAN get healthier. Every day. I'm living proof. Fight on. e b e r

The Double Standard - The Taboo

I've got a case scenario for you to consider. 

Say you had a friend or family member that you knew was doing something physically harmful to themselves. We will say that every day, they jumped off the roof. They did it because they were used to doing it, and it's all that they knew. 

Sometimes they would hurt themselves physically - get cut, scrapes, or even break a bone. Sometimes they would just roll with it and have no problems. 

What would you do? A caring friend or family member would give them an alternative. They would say that is really not good for you - let's find something better to do. Maybe if they could not get through to the person, they could suggest that they go to a doctor to find out why they do that, so they could do something better. 

Or say that said person also drank a shot of something bad for them daily. A poison that could be tolerated once or twice, but cumulatively would kill them. A caring friend or family member would say something. Would give them alternatives. Would try to help them live and not die. Would try to be an example by not drinking the poison, not jumping off the roof, but showing ways to live. 

Makes sense, right?

Now say it's being sedentary in the first scenario, and using food in an unhealthy way in the second. You'd still want to help. 

When I started this blog, I had to pause and think about it. Because the healthy living business is bigger than ever - but so is the backlash. This post was prompted by one of the countless pictures posted by overweight usually female social media users in their underwear, proclaiming they love themselves just as they are, except them as they are, etc. 

it's two distinctly different issues. 

Yes, you should not hate yourself. People should not hate anyone based on their outer appearance. No one should be treated bad because of what they look like. 

Welcome to the planet. There are morons who like to say mean things. We ALL have our stories of being made fun of in school at some point. It's part of growing up, though it's not nice. But it is. 

Now back to the scenarios and sedentary lifestyle and overeating. It's not okay. I had my wake up call in August of 2011 when I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, and with substantial degenerative back disease. Both of these were exacerbated by my being overweight and by a sedentary lifestyle. 

I had a choice to make at that moment - continue to walk the same path, maybe shortening  my lifespan and mobility, or I could decide to change. 

I chose to change. I chose to eat healthier and more mindfully, and I chose to start exercising - something I really detested. And over time, I lost weight, I got stronger, I became healthier. 

The response to my enthusiasm for my journey? It fell into two camps. One camp was encouraged by my story, and they used it to bring positive change to their own life. I found a way to feel better and live longer, and I wanted to share it. Help others, who, like me, were fooling theirselves.  

The other response? Vitriol. Anger. Rejection. Why? Because obesity is still a taboo subject. There are actually radical obese people (😳) who think it's a hate crime to even talk frankly about the known medical risks and dangers of a sedentary lifestyle and overeating. It's easier to reject the message or the messenger  than it is to accept where you are with your body and your health. While I have a pointed message, I never pointed fingers. There were many who felt I was singling them out and they took offense. I can't help anyone who is determined to jump off the roof daily and drink the poison daily. 

Obesity is killing people - it's not being ugly, it's the ugly truth. Heart disease, hypertension, diabetes all shorten lives, and obesity exacerbates it. Obesity limits mobility.  It causes muscular skeletal issues. These are facts. 

So I weighed out the rejection factor and I press on with my message of hope and health. I refuse to drink the Koolaid that loving myself means staying where I am. 

Loving myself means  being the best steward of this body of flesh and bones that I inhabit every day. Loving myself means taking care of myself. 

Now THAT'S something to celebrate! 

e b e r