And Now...A Mental Health Moment

I hate November. 

I don't want to. I am trying to be mindful of my thoughts and actions as I head into November, but how I dread it. 

It has been one of my worst months, dealing with depression. I can be moving forward and doing well, but as November looms, the terrain changes. Solid ground turns to mire and suddenly I am struggling to walk, to breath, and I can feel the downward slide. 

I hate it. 

In November, a pivotal life changer happened. Then four years later my first love was killed in a car accident, two days after thanksgiving. In November, his mother died - a woman who was like a mother to me. Recently in November, my favorite Aunt died. And just to add a kicker, my dad just had a major medical situation...unfolding as I write. 

My therapists have told me to be aware of triggers. Well, November is ripe with them. I set my face and set goals. I have a plan on how to eat, how to make sure to exercise. I make sure my accountability folks are aware. 

I pray. A lot. 

My jaw is clenched, though.  I'm terrified. I HATE the slide, I hate depression. I don't want to feel that way. 

Pray for my dad. 

e b e r